Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Fourty Five Thousand for a Soap Dish!
Well, it was bound to happen. Our one and only bathroom had slowly deteriorated to a point where , according to the Lovely Janis, we can no longer let it slide any longer. What's the big deal? Was it the fact that the sink has not drained at all for years now? Or was it the vice-grip hot water faucet handle in the shower?
No, it was the soap dish over the sink. It was a bit loose for a while but finally it fell out completely. This was not one of the cheapo screw on soap dishes, this was a ceramic one, built into the wallboard, type of soap dish. When it fell out, it left a rather large "kinda" noticeable hole in the wall over the sink.
The Lovely Janis freaked and insisted that something had to be done soon. At first I was stumped. There did not seem to be a quick and easy "Duct Tape, Vice Grip or WD40" fix or as I call them, "The Holy Trinity".
But after a day or two, I came up with the most perfect solution. I printed up a clever sign on the printer and covered up the hole with it (using Duct Tape so it was OK)
SEE? It's PERFECT Right? It's funny, cheap, quick and it does the trick! And you know what? The phrase is mine, I made it up. No really... It just came to me. So it's like WOW!
Yeah well the lovely janis (notice subtle disdain by not using caps) did not "get it" at all. She is insisting we get the bathroom redone along with a long list of silly ass picky stuff (leaking livingroom ceiling, garage doors inoperable, badger nest in basement, world hunger still a problem). Sigh
So there we are, I have to take out a second mortgage for $45K cause the gosh darn* soap dish fell out.
Well it's mostly that. There are other things. I guess. I'll keep you posted.
* from now on just mentally substitute the words "gosh darn" with fucking, friggin, frikkin, or God damn. Your call.
No, it was the soap dish over the sink. It was a bit loose for a while but finally it fell out completely. This was not one of the cheapo screw on soap dishes, this was a ceramic one, built into the wallboard, type of soap dish. When it fell out, it left a rather large "kinda" noticeable hole in the wall over the sink.
The Lovely Janis freaked and insisted that something had to be done soon. At first I was stumped. There did not seem to be a quick and easy "Duct Tape, Vice Grip or WD40" fix or as I call them, "The Holy Trinity".
But after a day or two, I came up with the most perfect solution. I printed up a clever sign on the printer and covered up the hole with it (using Duct Tape so it was OK)
SEE? It's PERFECT Right? It's funny, cheap, quick and it does the trick! And you know what? The phrase is mine, I made it up. No really... It just came to me. So it's like WOW!
Yeah well the lovely janis (notice subtle disdain by not using caps) did not "get it" at all. She is insisting we get the bathroom redone along with a long list of silly ass picky stuff (leaking livingroom ceiling, garage doors inoperable, badger nest in basement, world hunger still a problem). Sigh
So there we are, I have to take out a second mortgage for $45K cause the gosh darn* soap dish fell out.
Well it's mostly that. There are other things. I guess. I'll keep you posted.
* from now on just mentally substitute the words "gosh darn" with fucking, friggin, frikkin, or God damn. Your call.
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I think your sign works great, covering the hole in the wall. My only suggestion would be to either laminate the sign or place it within a clear plastic sleeve so that it's not defaced or that it would not loose any of its "punch" over time as water splashes up from the sink.
Regarding world hunger, Jesus Christ himself said, "The poor will be with you always." I tell that to every Salvation Army Santa I see at Xmas time, but they never seem to get it.
Regarding world hunger, Jesus Christ himself said, "The poor will be with you always." I tell that to every Salvation Army Santa I see at Xmas time, but they never seem to get it.
I have a solution:
Remove one of the inoperable garage doors, and cut out a sink shaped hole and a toilet shaped hole. Then, slide the door over the sink and toilet, and nail it to the wall...thus covering the hole in the wall, and making the garage usable again.
Also, if the lovely Janis doesn't like the vice-grips, why not take a page from Martha Stewart, and find a use for other stuff around the house. I suggest snatching a badger from the basement, getting him good and angry, then having him bite down in place of the aforementioned vice-grips. Now you have a soft, fuzzy, and quite animated hot water handle.
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Remove one of the inoperable garage doors, and cut out a sink shaped hole and a toilet shaped hole. Then, slide the door over the sink and toilet, and nail it to the wall...thus covering the hole in the wall, and making the garage usable again.
Also, if the lovely Janis doesn't like the vice-grips, why not take a page from Martha Stewart, and find a use for other stuff around the house. I suggest snatching a badger from the basement, getting him good and angry, then having him bite down in place of the aforementioned vice-grips. Now you have a soft, fuzzy, and quite animated hot water handle.
# posted by 
: 9:40 AM
: 9:40 AM << Home
